my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize