holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
