Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize