at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
