i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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