Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
