You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
