He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
