so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
