tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
