the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
