Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
