But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
