so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize
