she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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