Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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