you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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