Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
