Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
