Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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