Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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