i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
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This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
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He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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