Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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