Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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