Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
