your parents love me but you hate me
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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