im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
