Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm sobbing to NWA
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
