I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
