so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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