yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
