everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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