I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
