We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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