im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
