How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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