Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I could fuck to npr.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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