I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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