dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
