so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
