He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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