that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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