I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
