she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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