I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
