They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
