Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
