Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I am puke
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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