ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
