hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
