No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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