the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
