doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
