sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
