I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i would punch a child for taco bell
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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