I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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