At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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