don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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