5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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