she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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