How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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