I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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